so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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