xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
