I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize