he shaved USA in his pubs
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize