i don't like sucking hair
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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