You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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