you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
