It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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