Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
