Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
