You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
