Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
