You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
