i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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