dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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