My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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