Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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