I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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