Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
