Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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