I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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