I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
