problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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