the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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