So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
