It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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