I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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