We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
