Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
