My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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