It's Friday. Sex?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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