Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
