when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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