im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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