I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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