Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
