It's just like the Real World with babies
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
