Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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