Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
