if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
