Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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