if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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