I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
