bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
