she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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