no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
