Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
