apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
