She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
