She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
