Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
