playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
