Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
