would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize