remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
